God at the Center of Your Relationships
Posted by 1opinionatedchica on November 11, 2008
So, I’ve given some of my views of marriage. I failed to mention in that post how God should be at the center of every marriage, and instead of going and fixing that when I edited the post earlier, I thought….YAY! New post! 
Marriage isn’t the only thing that God should be at the center of. God should have His Almighty hand in all aspects of your relationships (all of them) not to mention every other aspect of your life. So when you start dating, when ever that may be, I personally don’t think you should date until you are completely ready to be married…but hey. So when you start dating someone do you think to yourself any of these things,
Will this relationship glorify God?
Would God want me in this relationship?
Will God be able to be the center of this relationship?
?
Lot’s of teenagers date…I know because I’ve been in relationships. I’ve shared in a few posts, mainly the page about me, that I’ve been hurt in relationships, specifically 2…so please, allow me to share what I’ve learned since being 15 and dating. Along with not being ready for marriage, I am not ready for a serious relationship, or seriously dating someone. What I am ready for is forming friendships with members of the opposite sex and learning what I want in a mate. What I can handle is hanging out, maybe in a date like setting, with guys and learning what dating is like. And I’m nearly 18. I’m just not ready. No shame in that.
I’ve tried having a serious relationships and they didn’t work because of several reasons; 1 my obvious immaturity when it comes to dating (not that I’m saying I’m immature per say, only that I can not mentally handle the stress of a relationship); 2 the males obvious immaturity when it came to dating me; 3 lack of communication skills on both parts, ( amazingly, being able to discuss something rationally is really important. That and being honest about your fears and what you believe in); 4 trying at play marriage…if you’re above the age of 25 you completely understand that phrase, what I mean by play marriage is that you act married…it’s as if another person owns you, with out the commitment of marriage. You forget all else to please this person….big mistake. and 5 God never was the center.
In Galatians 5, Paul list the fruits of the Spirit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…If you have God in your life and you’re living His way, these are the “fruits” of your life, same thing with a relationship with Him at the center. All of these things come with growing maturity of faith, so that explains why I’m not mature enough to handle a serious commitment to another human being…I’m just now learning what it is to have a serious commitment to God. I was so concerned, not even a month ago, about getting someone to fall in love with me that I completely ignored my spiritual self and my own needs when it came to God, the number one being that I have a relationship with him. I’ve never had time to fall in love with God, and if I’m not in love with Him, how could a relationship work, part of me is missing. Also notice specifically the fruits of patience and kindness…I can say that I don’t always have those traits when I communicate a point…like I said, all parties involved in my love life, no communication skills. And when you play at marriage, the whole ownage thing really has a lot to do with jealousy and control, why do you need those in your life when you know that the fruits of your relationship are love, joy, peace, and faithfulness. Why do you have to worry about any type of relationship, not just a dating one, when God’s in the middle and you have these wonderful gifts inside of it?
OK so I’ll can do a fruits of the Spirit blog later. The point is, when God’s at the center of your relationships you’ve built a good foundation for a strong experience. If God isn’t the center, well you end up heart broken and alone, wondering why you can’t find a decent person to share your life with, like I was and sometimes am when it comes to dating. With out God at the center you set yourself up to be jaded.
One more thing…if you are allowing things like sex, or “fooling around” in your relationship, and you’re not married, it’s not God centered. God can not, and will not surround Himself with sin. And that’s what all of that ‘stuff’ is, sin. If you are not married sexual anything will hinder your relationship, I know, trust me. Dating is about getting to know someone, it’s about seeing if you could have a marriage with them…and you have to allow God at the center of every step of the journey.
I believe, 100%, if a relationship is God centered from the start, and you marry the person of the God centered relationship, there’s more of a chance of the marriage being God centered. You’ve had practice with that person, you have placed God first for the whole relationship, you’ve formed a habit. It’ll make, I hope, marriage just a smidgen easier, because it will be God blessed. And who doesn’t want that?
There seems like there is so much more I could say about dating in general, but this post would just be never ending…so I’ll continue later on…:)
I seem to be, yet again, ranting. I’ll write to y’alls later!
~Amanda~
kathryn said
so is your sole purpose of dating “to bring glory and honor to god”
um what kind of experience is that?
not sorry to say but how can you enjoy or experience something with that much pressure
i have never dated
but to me thats seems selfish of god to expect that
then again
god seems really really selfish!!
also what do you say to those poeple who insist that god has called people to be single
why would god say its not good for man to be alone
but according to some people he has called people to just that
then again the sole puporse is to allegedly have more time to serve him
again thats selfish
one should date for the experience and the closeness and the company and the enjoyment of being with someone
you need to have balance in life
life cant be 100% religion
one could go nuts if it is
god is great
but lets be honest
when adam was in the garden
he had fellowhship with adam
sure
however god saw that man was alone
he said this is not good
so he created eve
and the animals
ok
my point is this
god can be a part of ones life
but come on he should not be ones life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joey said
kathryn,
you said that God is selfish and that life cant be 100% religion. I agree completely with the fact that you say God is a selfish God. Its so true and He has to be a selfish God. Cause think about it, lets say God didn’t want all of us and didn’t want us to worship him always. Lets say He allowed us to worship him but at the same time we can strive after “experience and the closeness and the company and the enjoyment of being with someone” to a point of worship. Now even if its not a relationship. Lets say its money. Lets say you strive after money/career with the same passion and same heart that you do God. what im trying to get at is that if something else is receiving our time and worship other than God and if God allowed it then wouldn’t that mean that God allows other Gods. If he doesnt want our everything then there must be another god. It just doesnt work that way. God is the one true God and since He is God doesnt it seem fitting to devote 100% of our lives to the one who created the heavens and the earth? The God who placed every single star in the sky and knows every single stars name? the God who created us so intricately that if you were to take all your veins from your body and place them in one line, you would be able to wrap around the earth two and a half times? God is a selfish God cause if He wasn’t then that would mean he isnt God.
Bunny Yono said
really enjoyed reading this
1opinionatedchica said
thank you, sometimes I can get out good posts. And you know what, I really need to start living out this one again.
kathryn said
for some reason this topic came up again to my mind – i have absolutely no idea what being in the center means – sounds corny but there actually is a tootsie roll in the center of a toosie roll pop – that i get – but thats literal – god being in the center – that part is sending me into confusion i just stopped wasting my life trying to figure out -i will never figure it out – god is not the center of anything in my life but i am fine with that because its the truth – poeple bombarded me with this well he wants to be – yeah i still find it annyoing that people were almost pleaing with me -
no people you still arent god so get over it – god needs to say that in the present – not in the past to biblical figures i never have or want to relate to!!!
nothing is the center of my life – just doesnt exist – its a metaphor but whats it a metaphor is – i dont know and i am not going exhaust my over exhausted brain – im in religious detox – as in no more!!!!
god needs to be god in my life – not other christians who more than botch the attempt – sometimes its like listening to pre -programmed humanoids
thing is i am going to take proverbs 3:5 and use it as the double edged “sword” (another metaphor ) lean not onto my undertanding
heres the double part – lean not anyone else unederstanding as well
god needs to be god
just like nike states
just do it
none of this will do this and will do that
im not religious anymore
and am thankful for that
1opinionatedchica said
That’s ok. It’s ok to not want to think about it. It’s ok to not want to deal with it. There are times when I don’t. And you know what, I don’t really live by it all that much.
It’s not meant to be a metaphor. Having Him at the center litterally means, letting your relationship with Him touch everything else. Letting Him be the most important thing to you.
It’s like when you say “you’re not the center of the universe” to someone, or at least that’s a similar context.
I don’t know what you may be searching for, or what you need in life. I don’t know you. But know that, I’m not perfect, and I’ve made mistakes, and I’ve gotten to the point where I didn’t want to think about any of it, I didn’t even want God at all, or at least not the way He is. So, I understand, in part, why it’s frusterating to you.
And it’s ok to not be religious and still be in love with God. I don’t think it’s about religion honestly. I think it’s about the relationship. And until you have that, all the answers in the world don’t matter.
Amanda
1opinionatedchica said
Try to be happy.