God at the Center of Your Relationships

So, I’ve given some of my views of marriage. I failed to mention in that post how God should be at the center of every marriage, and instead of going and fixing that when I edited the post earlier, I thought….YAY! New post!

Marriage isn’t the only thing that God should be at the center of.  God should have His Almighty hand in all aspects of your relationships (all of them) not to mention every other aspect of your life.  So when you start dating, when ever that may be, I personally don’t think you should date until you are completely ready to be married…but hey. So when you start dating someone do you think to yourself any of these things,

Will this relationship glorify God?

Would God want me in this relationship?

Will God be able to be the center of this relationship?

?

Lot’s of teenagers date…I know because I’ve been in relationships.  I’ve shared in a few posts, mainly the page about me, that I’ve been hurt in relationships, specifically 2…so please, allow me to share what I’ve learned since being 15 and dating.  Along with not being ready for marriage, I am not ready for a serious relationship, or seriously dating someone.  What I am ready for is forming friendships with members of the opposite sex and learning what I want in a mate.  What I can handle is hanging out, maybe in a date like setting, with guys and learning what dating is like.  And I’m nearly 18.  I’m just not ready. No shame in that.

I’ve tried having a serious relationships and they didn’t work because of several reasons; 1 my obvious immaturity when it comes to dating (not that I’m saying I’m immature per say, only that I can not mentally handle the stress of a relationship); 2 the males obvious immaturity when it came to dating me; 3 lack of communication skills on both parts, ( amazingly, being able to discuss something rationally is really important. That and being honest about your fears and what you believe in); 4 trying at play marriage…if you’re above the age of 25 you completely understand that phrase, what I mean by play marriage is that you act married…it’s as if another person owns you, with out the commitment of marriage.  You forget all else to please this person….big mistake.  and 5 God never was the center.

In Galatians 5, Paul list the fruits of the Spirit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…If you have God in your life and you’re living His way, these are the “fruits” of your life, same thing with a relationship with Him at the center. All of these things come with growing maturity of faith, so that explains why I’m not mature enough to handle a serious commitment to another human being…I’m just now learning what it is to have a serious commitment to God. I was so concerned, not even a month ago, about getting someone to fall in love with me that I completely ignored my spiritual self and my own needs when it came to God, the number one being that I have a relationship with him.  I’ve never had time to fall in love with God, and if I’m not in love with Him, how could a relationship work, part of me is missing. Also notice specifically the fruits of patience and kindness…I can say that I don’t always have those traits when I communicate a point…like I said, all parties involved in my love life, no communication skills.  And when you play at marriage, the whole ownage thing really has a lot to do with jealousy and control, why do you need those in your life when you know that the fruits of your relationship are love, joy, peace, and faithfulness.  Why do you have to worry about any type of relationship, not just a dating one, when God’s in the middle and you have these wonderful gifts inside of it?

OK so I’ll can do a fruits of the Spirit blog later.  The point is, when God’s at the center of your relationships you’ve built a good foundation for a strong experience.  If God isn’t the center, well you end up heart broken and alone, wondering why you can’t find a decent person to share your life with, like I was and sometimes am when it comes to dating.  With out God at the center you set yourself up to be jaded.

One more thing…if you are allowing things like sex, or “fooling around” in your relationship, and you’re not married, it’s not God centered.  God can not, and will not surround Himself with sin.  And that’s what all of that ’stuff’ is, sin.  If you are not married sexual anything will hinder your relationship, I know, trust me.  Dating is about getting to know someone, it’s about seeing if you could have a marriage with them…and you have to allow God at the center of every step of the journey.

I believe, 100%, if a relationship is God centered from the start, and you marry the person of the God centered relationship, there’s more of a chance of the marriage being God centered.  You’ve had practice with that person, you have placed God first for the whole relationship, you’ve formed a habit.  It’ll make, I hope, marriage just a smidgen easier, because it will be God blessed.  And who doesn’t want that?

There seems like there is so much more I could say about dating in general, but this post would just be never ending…so I’ll continue later on…:)

I seem to be, yet again, ranting. I’ll write to y’alls later!

~Amanda~