Well, I can’t say that I’m back on the blogging scene. I haven’t been here for a while, I did a blog a bit ago on my other website, (look at my blog roll) but I just haven’t had anything to say. Where am I really? I’m sure that seems like a very odd question to ask mostly people I don’t know. But I’m at this place in my life where I don’t know what to expect anymore. This week hasn’t been much fun for me, I’ve pretty much argued everyday of it with a bunch of different people. I’ve been told how not good I am–which I suppose is fair judging by who it came from. I made a real effort to listen, a feat in and of itself, I don’t know if he even hears me.
I’m going away. Soon. And, I have a feeling that everything that I thought was going to happen isn’t and that the only tie to my current life will be my family. It’s like I’m standing on a cliff looking out on the ocean and everything in the past is behind me; and the future isn’t an abyss, but it’s vast just the same. I didn’t know my life would change so much with the choice that I’ve made, but I feel like I won’t be back to this place for very long once I’ve left for good. I’ve “loved” 3 times in my short existence, and been in love once. (I love lots of people, you know what I mean) None of those loves lasted, I feel like I might be leaving those behind for good too.
I know these seem like the confused rantings of a wayword youth, and I assure you I’m not wayword. I just feel the ending, I see it. And I’m about to take that leap into my metaphorical ocean. Pray for me on my journey.
