It’s been a while

Well, I can’t say that I’m back on the blogging scene.  I haven’t been here for a while, I did a blog a bit ago on my other website, (look at my blog roll) but I just haven’t had anything to say.  Where am I really?  I’m sure that seems like a very odd question to ask mostly people I don’t know.  But I’m at this place in my life where I don’t know what to expect anymore.  This week hasn’t been much fun for me, I’ve pretty much argued everyday of it with a bunch of different people.  I’ve been told how not good I am–which I suppose is fair judging by who it came from.  I made a real effort to listen, a feat in and of itself, I don’t know if he even hears me. 

I’m going away.  Soon.  And, I have a feeling that everything that I thought was going to happen isn’t and that the only tie to my current life will be my family.  It’s like I’m standing on a cliff looking out on the ocean and everything in the past is behind me; and the future isn’t an abyss, but it’s vast just the same.  I didn’t know my life would change so much with the choice that I’ve made, but I feel like I won’t be back to this place for very long once I’ve left for good.  I’ve “loved” 3 times in my short existence, and been in love once.  (I love lots of people, you know what I mean)  None of those loves lasted, I feel like I might be leaving those behind for good too. 

I know these seem like the confused rantings of a wayword youth, and I assure you I’m not wayword.  I just feel the ending, I see it.  And I’m about to take that leap into my metaphorical ocean.  Pray for me on my journey.