This will be fun.

I fell down, and today, I finally found my strength in God to get back up again.  Praise Adonai, Praise Jehova Jireh. 

Here I am.  I am 19, have a career, a good paying job (if you compare me to the unemployed) I am fed, and housed, I have a good man standing beside me.  I’m in love and engaged.  And, I let Satan lead again.  I let him take all of those blessings from me, to blind me.  Well, today, I stood up.  Oh God, thank you.

I stood in front of my peers, rededicating my Life to Christ, and I had this sob just overtake me.  I have been convincing myself for months that I didn’t need to stand infront of my congregation and make my rededication public, but now I have the support of my christian family. 

You can fall so quickly when you want humanity and not Christianity.  Well, now I can say that I’ve been there I guess.  Now, I have to start all over.  But, that’s ok.  We fall down, but we get up.  Cause a saint is just a sinner that fell down and Got Up. (BMC choir song [ i don't know who wrote it])

        We must stop trying to prove our God with the scriptures and logic, because we can not prove our God, not to someone whose blatant refusal to see Him keeps him blind; not to someone who does not accept His Word as truth.  We must live our faith by being what our Lord has called us to be.  Our faith is not one of words…it can never be so.  Ours is a faith of action and of dedication.  Even the blind can see this, even the deaf can hear this.  We must be patient and understanding with those who do not know God, even when they try and explain Him away–because we have been there ourselves.  We must be kind to those who choose to ignore the signs around them–because we have done so ourselves. 

       We have all denied our God in some way, this is sin.  And when we chose to invite our savior into our hearts to lead and guide us we admitted that we were sinners…all of us.  So we must be forgiving to those who judge us, because more often than not we have already judged them.  

        We are a watched people, Oh sinning God followers.  Our lives are scrutinized.  We must be on our guards and act like the called and chosen and loved servants that we are. We must act like children of God and love those around us that hate us…because we have also hated children of God.

~Amanda~

(While nothing is directly quoted, basic ideas were used from Joanna Weaver–Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World…or it may have been another of the Christian books I own…i don’t know.)

I’m going away.  Soon.  And, I have a feeling that everything that I thought was going to happen isn’t and that the only tie to my current life will be my family.  It’s like I’m standing on a cliff looking out on the ocean and everything in the past is behind me; and the future isn’t an abyss, but it’s vast just the same.  I didn’t know my life would change so much with the choice that I’ve made, but I feel like I won’t be back to this place for very long once I’ve left for good.  I’ve “loved” 3 times in my short existence, and been in love once.  (I love lots of people, you know what I mean)  None of those loves lasted, I feel like I might be leaving those behind for good too. 

I know these seem like the confused rantings of a wayword youth, and I assure you I’m not wayword.  I just feel the ending, I see it.  And I’m about to take that leap into my metaphorical ocean.  Pray for me on my journey.

        Before I go into all of this I have to make known what this Pastor made known to me. The Pharisees were at the crucifixion, men of God were at the crucifixion. If I have my facts straight, then Jewish people study and memorize much more than Christians do.  They would have known this Psalm.  They would have known what it meant.  It is possible that the Messiah would have said this for their benefit.  (This was the Pastor at my church not long ago, I’ll not put his name, but he is the one who gave me the lesson I’m sharing with you [well my parents taught me some of the things that I'm sharing too])

Psalm 22 (New International Version)

5. Does God exist? We know God exists because he pursues us. He is constantly initiating and seeking for us to come to him.
I was an atheist at one time. And like most atheists, the issue of people believing in God bothered me greatly. What is it about atheists that we would spend so much time, attention, and energy refuting something that we don’t believe even exists?! What causes us to do that? When I was an atheist, I attributed my intentions as caring for those poor, delusional people…to help them realize their hope was completely ill-founded. To be honest, I also had another motive. As I challenged those who believed in God, I was deeply curious to see if they could convince me otherwise. Part of my quest was to become free from the question of God. If I could conclusively prove to believers that they were wrong, then the issue is off the table, and I would be free to go about my life.

I didn’t realize that the reason the topic of God weighed so heavily on my mind, was because God was pressing the issue. I have come to find out that God wants to be known. He created us with the intention that we would know him. He has surrounded us with evidence of himself and he keeps the question of his existence squarely before us. It was as if I couldn’t escape thinking about the possibility of God. In fact, the day I chose to acknowledge God’s existence, my prayer began with, “Ok, you win…” It might be that the underlying reason atheists are bothered by people believing in God is because God is actively pursuing them.

I am not the only one who has experienced this. Malcolm Muggeridge, socialist and philosophical author, wrote, “I had a notion that somehow, besides questing, I was being pursued.” C.S. Lewis said he remembered, “…night after night, feeling whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet. I gave in, and admitted that God was God, and knelt and prayed: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all of England.”

Lewis went on to write a book titled, “Surprised by Joy” as a result of knowing God. I too had no expectations other than rightfully admitting God’s existence. Yet over the following several months, I became amazed by his love for me.

http://www.everystudent.com (full link to right)

      And you know what, God blessed her.  He gave her a good husband that she loved and she was highly honored in that she is one of the three women that are named in the genealogy of Christ.  Think about that, she was so much of a blessing to her Mother-in-law that God placed her in the line of Christ, and actually had her named……such and honor.  You have to be good to get that honor.

(that was all very paraphrased….go and read the book of Ruth and the first chapter of Matthew to get the full story)

~Amanda~

P.S.  I also have another blog that I’m starting up.   You’ll see a lot about womanhood there, Ruth will eventually be mentioned.  (It’s not just about womanhood….eventually manhood too….it’s more a how to live blog.) 2bchanged.wordpress.com.  There are no posts at the moment…..

      So I will quote the most important parts, and let you know what I think.

“so is your sole purpose of dating “to bring glory and honor to god”
um what kind of experience is that?”

      Ultimately, in a relationship I want enjoyment and satisfaction.  I want to know that I’m loved and cherished.  What girl wouldn’t?  When I say that I want to bring glory and honor to God with my relationships I mean  that I want my conduct to reflect a Christian woman, a Proverbs 31.  My purpose in dating is to find a good husband who loves God and treats me well.  I don’t just date for the experience, and I don’t recommend being with someone for solely that reason.  If I’m looking for a husband he should know what I’m about.  I’m about honoring God with my behavior.  Dating a man who’s not a Christian, dating someone before I’m supposed to be in a relationship, having sex and fooling around before I’m married; none of those things glorify God, and I’ve learned that in the long run, these things cause more pain in the end then even one happy memory.

not sorry to say but how can you enjoy or experience something with that much pressure

      There really isn’t pressure from God to glorify Him.  When you get saved it’s kind of a natural part of you.  He says that “He will give us a new heart and put a new Spirit in us.  He will remove from us our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh.  And He will put His Spirit in us and move us to keep His Decrees and be careful to keep His laws.” Ezekiel 36:26-27, (paraphrased to make plural–look up for original context.)  I don’t want to have sex before I’m married, I want to be with a Christian man whom I’m evenly yoked with.  That’s the easy part.  I feel more pressure from outside to do the opposite.  Which is why I’m not dating right now.  I haven’t enjoyed fully my relationships with men because of their pressure.  And the pressure of my own fleshy desires.  (Realize, having God’s Spirit does not “kill” the flesh, only gives you another option and a way to see it through, it’s really hard to be a Christian sometimes.)

 to me thats seems selfish of god to expect that
then again
god seems really really selfish!!

       Doesn’t He though?  I’ve gone through feeling the same things.  It’s hard to remember that God created us for a purpose, and that was to serve and love Him.  And that may seem selfish, but think about the things you buy and make, you want them to serve you don’t you?  You may think that that’s different, but I want you to realize what God did to earn our love and service.  He sent His Son, who I believe was indeed part of Himself,  to die.  And the death is important, but what’s more is Jesus took on every single sin of the world, he became sin, he felt the shame of a world of sin, and then “descended into hell.”   Three days in hell, the worst type of torment.  And the very deepest depths of it too.  And he did it knowing that we would call him selfish. 

      Now think about it this way.  God’s love, mercy and salvation are all free.  They come from previenient grace, before you ask, and before you are cleansed of sin, He just gives it to you.  If you want to ask for salvation, feel one moments cleanlyness then forget about it, you’ve been saved.  WE, ask for more, we don’t have enough.  WE ASK GOD TO SERVE US even more than He requires us to serve Him. 

     Now the big part.  He promises us that if we serve Him, He will provide for us.  He will give us all our needs and some of our wants.  His plan for us is drawn with more wisdom than we could ever hope to attain.  Is it really selfish for Him to want our love, and for us to follow His laws, written so we didn’t get ourselves into trouble?  Especially when we get the better end of the deal?

also what do you say to those poeple who insist that god has called people to be single
why would god say its not good for man to be alone
but according to some people he has called people to just that
then again the sole puporse is to allegedly have more time to serve him
again thats selfish

      There are some people that God calls to live a single life.  I don’t know why, but He does.  And the people He has made to be single were made with more gut.  I don’t want to spend a whole life single most of the time.  (Sometimes it seems like a blessing)   I think that the majority of people are meant to be with somebody.  And I believe that God made a specific person for all of those people.  I also think that we as people mess up what God originally wanted. 

    And yes, again, it seems selfish for God to want some people set aside for single work, but those people, who have a real, honest call to be single, are happy.  They have something that a lot of people don’t.  Something that they are given that married people don’t get.  More time with God.  More solitary time to walk with God.  More time to serve God.  And the gift of most of the time not feeling lonely.  But those are the people that God has Made-To-Be-Single.  I feel that people that have someone else will find them, because God knows what we need.

one should date for the experience and the closeness and the company and the enjoyment of being with someone

    I agree that that is part of it.  But it’s not just an experience.  If dating has no purpose, then why are you really with that person.  You should be investigating marriage.  Because the closeness and company of that one person could cause a lot of pain if he or she is not your one.

you need to have balance in life

      We agree there, everything needs it’s balance.  God never said, “You shall only love me” only to love him the most.  We all have priorities.  He should be the priority.

life cant be 100% religion
one could go nuts if it is

      I hate religion really.  It makes blogs like this necessary.  I don’t feel that true Christianity is religion actually.  You are just trying to be a good person and live to a high standard.  Not perfection but being truly good.  Trying to have a good heart.  Not not making mistakes, knowing when you have and moving forward trying not to make the same ones.  And always having the love of someone beside you.  Even when you feel the most alone. 

    You are right.  Pure religion will probably drive you nuts.  Because it makes you feel like you have to perform for God’s love and affection.  It drowns the true Gospel and give you rules and regulations, telling you if you don’t live up to this you’ll go to hell, and that’s not true.  Christianity is trying, and when you fail having a repetitive heart.  Christianity is loving, even when the people you are called to love work that last nerve of yours.  That’s not religion.

god is great
but lets be honest
when adam was in the garden
he had fellowhship with adam
sure
however god saw that man was alone
he said this is not good
so he created eve
and the animals

   You are right.  Everything you said (well almost, the animals were created before Adam) is right.  God saw that Adam was still lonely and He created for him the PERFECT mate.  Then they both sinned by eating the apple and throwing into chaos everything that God had wanted.  Remember, God did a Holy do over.  He saw that humanity had become corrupt and He scrapped everything that wasn’t on that ark.  We ruined what God originally wanted.  No feelings of loneliness, only happiness.  No feelings of shame, only joy.  So, God does what He sees needs to be done.  I can’t fault Him if He makes someone to be single and that person changed the world in there singleness.

ok
my point is this
god can be a part of ones life
but come on he should not be ones life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        WRONG!  That was always the point.  That our lives and relationships would be God centered.  That we would give God our full hearts and the best of our love, to do with what He sees fit.  And the people that do make effort to live His plan are the happiest.  My mother has proved that to me with her life.  She changed to what God wanted and is happier.  As a result everyone in our family is happier.  He’s my life, and I’ll admit, sometimes it’s hard.  Sometimes I leave God in the dust of my running away.  And my life falls apart when I do. 

      Try living a God centered life for one month.  Do Bible Studies.  Go to Church.  Watch what you say and think about.  When you do something ask yourself if it would honor God; and then don’t do it if the answer is no.  Do that for one month, then see if there are any differences in your life. 

~Amanda~

I’d like to know which you’d rather me post on first. I’ve promised some material, but I don’t know what you’d like to see.

*for biblical contradictions…please leave a comment with your contradiction for me to address.