Response to Poster….

       Now, I wouldn’t normally address comments, but one posted comment caught my attention.   In the “God at the Center of Your Relationships” blog very good questions were brought up, and I don’t feel that I can ignore them.

      So I will quote the most important parts, and let you know what I think.

“so is your sole purpose of dating “to bring glory and honor to god”
um what kind of experience is that?”

      Ultimately, in a relationship I want enjoyment and satisfaction.  I want to know that I’m loved and cherished.  What girl wouldn’t?  When I say that I want to bring glory and honor to God with my relationships I mean  that I want my conduct to reflect a Christian woman, a Proverbs 31.  My purpose in dating is to find a good husband who loves God and treats me well.  I don’t just date for the experience, and I don’t recommend being with someone for solely that reason.  If I’m looking for a husband he should know what I’m about.  I’m about honoring God with my behavior.  Dating a man who’s not a Christian, dating someone before I’m supposed to be in a relationship, having sex and fooling around before I’m married; none of those things glorify God, and I’ve learned that in the long run, these things cause more pain in the end then even one happy memory.

not sorry to say but how can you enjoy or experience something with that much pressure

      There really isn’t pressure from God to glorify Him.  When you get saved it’s kind of a natural part of you.  He says that “He will give us a new heart and put a new Spirit in us.  He will remove from us our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh.  And He will put His Spirit in us and move us to keep His Decrees and be careful to keep His laws.” Ezekiel 36:26-27, (paraphrased to make plural–look up for original context.)  I don’t want to have sex before I’m married, I want to be with a Christian man whom I’m evenly yoked with.  That’s the easy part.  I feel more pressure from outside to do the opposite.  Which is why I’m not dating right now.  I haven’t enjoyed fully my relationships with men because of their pressure.  And the pressure of my own fleshy desires.  (Realize, having God’s Spirit does not “kill” the flesh, only gives you another option and a way to see it through, it’s really hard to be a Christian sometimes.)

 to me thats seems selfish of god to expect that
then again
god seems really really selfish!!

       Doesn’t He though?  I’ve gone through feeling the same things.  It’s hard to remember that God created us for a purpose, and that was to serve and love Him.  And that may seem selfish, but think about the things you buy and make, you want them to serve you don’t you?  You may think that that’s different, but I want you to realize what God did to earn our love and service.  He sent His Son, who I believe was indeed part of Himself,  to die.  And the death is important, but what’s more is Jesus took on every single sin of the world, he became sin, he felt the shame of a world of sin, and then “descended into hell.”   Three days in hell, the worst type of torment.  And the very deepest depths of it too.  And he did it knowing that we would call him selfish. 

      Now think about it this way.  God’s love, mercy and salvation are all free.  They come from previenient grace, before you ask, and before you are cleansed of sin, He just gives it to you.  If you want to ask for salvation, feel one moments cleanlyness then forget about it, you’ve been saved.  WE, ask for more, we don’t have enough.  WE ASK GOD TO SERVE US even more than He requires us to serve Him. 

     Now the big part.  He promises us that if we serve Him, He will provide for us.  He will give us all our needs and some of our wants.  His plan for us is drawn with more wisdom than we could ever hope to attain.  Is it really selfish for Him to want our love, and for us to follow His laws, written so we didn’t get ourselves into trouble?  Especially when we get the better end of the deal?

also what do you say to those poeple who insist that god has called people to be single
why would god say its not good for man to be alone
but according to some people he has called people to just that
then again the sole puporse is to allegedly have more time to serve him
again thats selfish

      There are some people that God calls to live a single life.  I don’t know why, but He does.  And the people He has made to be single were made with more gut.  I don’t want to spend a whole life single most of the time.  (Sometimes it seems like a blessing)   I think that the majority of people are meant to be with somebody.  And I believe that God made a specific person for all of those people.  I also think that we as people mess up what God originally wanted. 

    And yes, again, it seems selfish for God to want some people set aside for single work, but those people, who have a real, honest call to be single, are happy.  They have something that a lot of people don’t.  Something that they are given that married people don’t get.  More time with God.  More solitary time to walk with God.  More time to serve God.  And the gift of most of the time not feeling lonely.  But those are the people that God has Made-To-Be-Single.  I feel that people that have someone else will find them, because God knows what we need.

one should date for the experience and the closeness and the company and the enjoyment of being with someone

    I agree that that is part of it.  But it’s not just an experience.  If dating has no purpose, then why are you really with that person.  You should be investigating marriage.  Because the closeness and company of that one person could cause a lot of pain if he or she is not your one.

you need to have balance in life

      We agree there, everything needs it’s balance.  God never said, “You shall only love me” only to love him the most.  We all have priorities.  He should be the priority.

life cant be 100% religion
one could go nuts if it is

      I hate religion really.  It makes blogs like this necessary.  I don’t feel that true Christianity is religion actually.  You are just trying to be a good person and live to a high standard.  Not perfection but being truly good.  Trying to have a good heart.  Not not making mistakes, knowing when you have and moving forward trying not to make the same ones.  And always having the love of someone beside you.  Even when you feel the most alone. 

    You are right.  Pure religion will probably drive you nuts.  Because it makes you feel like you have to perform for God’s love and affection.  It drowns the true Gospel and give you rules and regulations, telling you if you don’t live up to this you’ll go to hell, and that’s not true.  Christianity is trying, and when you fail having a repetitive heart.  Christianity is loving, even when the people you are called to love work that last nerve of yours.  That’s not religion.

god is great
but lets be honest
when adam was in the garden
he had fellowhship with adam
sure
however god saw that man was alone
he said this is not good
so he created eve
and the animals

   You are right.  Everything you said (well almost, the animals were created before Adam) is right.  God saw that Adam was still lonely and He created for him the PERFECT mate.  Then they both sinned by eating the apple and throwing into chaos everything that God had wanted.  Remember, God did a Holy do over.  He saw that humanity had become corrupt and He scrapped everything that wasn’t on that ark.  We ruined what God originally wanted.  No feelings of loneliness, only happiness.  No feelings of shame, only joy.  So, God does what He sees needs to be done.  I can’t fault Him if He makes someone to be single and that person changed the world in there singleness.

ok
my point is this
god can be a part of ones life
but come on he should not be ones life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        WRONG!  That was always the point.  That our lives and relationships would be God centered.  That we would give God our full hearts and the best of our love, to do with what He sees fit.  And the people that do make effort to live His plan are the happiest.  My mother has proved that to me with her life.  She changed to what God wanted and is happier.  As a result everyone in our family is happier.  He’s my life, and I’ll admit, sometimes it’s hard.  Sometimes I leave God in the dust of my running away.  And my life falls apart when I do. 

      Try living a God centered life for one month.  Do Bible Studies.  Go to Church.  Watch what you say and think about.  When you do something ask yourself if it would honor God; and then don’t do it if the answer is no.  Do that for one month, then see if there are any differences in your life. 

~Amanda~

The God Centered Life…your relationship with the Almighty

Many Christians in America…not all, but many…have become people who go to God when something’s not going the way that they want, or when they want something, and that’s the only communication they have with the Almighty.  That’s a truly selfish population of Christians isn’t it.  We have God, who loves us, who wishes for a relationship with us, who knows that we are imperfect–yet gave us the gift of the Messiah, the ultimate sacrifice, to cleans us so that we COULD have a relationship with Him, and we only go to Him when we need something.

I believe humans have four basic groups of needs to fill, most of us look only at three, Physical, Mental/Emotional, and Social…and ignore the very important Spiritual. To have a balanced life and be truly happy we must take care of ourselves on all levels, and they intertwine at times, well, most times.  If you don’t take care of yourself physically by eating correctly, exercising, sleeping well, etc…hormones and other various chemicals won’t be released when they’re supposed to be, the way you see yourself may change, you may feel tired and worn out, which takes it’s tool on your mind and emotions and thus who you associate yourself with, which further effects your emotions and mental state of being.  That’s logical, correct?  It’s works all ways; if you associate yourself with negative people, you’re more likely to be negative; if you associate yourself with people who shirk their physical needs, you’re more likely to do the same…and all vice versa.  It’s how we work.  But what of the Spiritual?  What of the needs that come with our spiritual selves?

Reader, I do not know if you are a Christian, or if you even believe that there is a God.  But if you don’t believe in God, and take to heart, I mean the God of Abraham and of Issac…the God who gave the power to Moses to lead a people through a split sea, the God who gave His people a Messiah, if you don’t believe in this God, I must wonder, do feel as though there is a part of you missing, like you can’t find joy in anything, like you are constantly searching for…something?  And if you do believe in this God that I speak of, but only go to Him when you need something, or on a Sabbath day, or holidays…but ignore Him at all other times, do you feel a void, do you feel joyless, are you searching?

My mother said to me, “Amanda, so often people say that we are humans searching for our spirituality, but really we are Spiritual beings having a human experience.”  I can’t remember where she said she got that, some book she was reading probably, but think about that statement for a minute.  You are not searching for you’re spirituality, you are a Spiritual Being.  Of course we are trapped in these broken vessels called bodies, with all their fleshy limitations, and we have to daily defeat that human part of us.  But we are spiritual.  Think of why we are made….God was lonely. He wanted a companion, someone to talk to, someone to love Him, someone to love.  Sounds like us right?  God is not bound by humanness like we are, but He did create us in His image.  Inside of us, in our Spirit, in our Hearts, we long for the same things God wants, a relationship based on perfect love.  We were made to want that, and we are made to specifically want Him, the only ONE capable of Perfect love.  But we try to fill this need with the love of the imperfect.  Think of it this way, all of our need groups have a mouth (literally our physical side has a mouth).  We should feed our physical selves with healthy things, we should feed our minds with good things, we should feed our social selves healthy relationship.  Why, why are we starving our spiritual selves be trying to feed it something it can’t eat.  Just like God can’t be near sin, our spiritual selves can’t be fed anything but the truths God gives us, it can’t be satisfied with less that our Holy Father and His perfect love.  Our spiritual selves will except nothing but that. His love can make all other loves good enough, because you see them as blessing, and not imperfection.  But we have to allow Him to feed us.

We must center ourselves with God.  We must relent and allow ourselves to have that love, that relationship.  We must accept God.  This surrender of self to God, the only sacrifice God requires to be a part of our lives, this centering will fill that void, will feed the spirit.  Our hearts have a place shaped for God, nothing else will fill it.  And it’s at the center.  God has to be our life’s passion.

So we know that we have four need groups, the Spiritual side will change your mind on lots of things, control your emotions for the better, make you want friends who know what you know, and ultimately effect how you take care of your body.   We know that we need God to fill that spiritual side…we have to invite Him into our lives by surrendering ourselves to Him, self sacrifice.  But what does that mean?

With any other relationship that you start how do you take care of it?  You go spend quality time with someone, talk to someone, maybe simply sit with someone.  Same with God.  We may not be able to comprehend God’s ways, but He created our ways.  Think about it, if you love somebody you want to be around them don’t you.  He made you that way, because He wants to be with you.  He walked with Adam in the garden, talked with him in the garden.  He wanted a relationship with Adam, He desired it, just as a parent wants a relationship with their child.  And remember, we are created in His image, our spirits desire the same thing.  Adam wanted to walk with God, to talk to God (as did Eve).

We are meant to take time, our time, and sit and talk with God.  Read His word and listen to Him, just sit in His company and feel Him with you.  Do a daily devotion, journal about your feelings.  Write God letters.  Anything that you would do to keep a relationship with another human healthy, do with God.

But…yes there is a but. But it’s not just about spending time with God, it’s about changing your ways to please God.  I know a lot of females, possibly men, but I’m a girl so I understand girls, lots of females know what it means to alter their appearances and behavior to attract a man.  We are driven by this need to be loved and accepted by them, which makes sense, we were created for men, to be loved by them*.  And because of this drive, we change. But what if we were driven just as much to please God, to be loved and accepted by God.  We would naturally change to suit our need. Correct?

Changing means defeating the flesh in us.  And I don’t say this as a perfect person.  I allowed so much garbage into my mind that my emotions and body suffered, I starved my spirit.  I payed the consequences with spiritually.  I’m still paying the consequences.  It gets easier because I’m feeding my spirit more often.  The change doesn’t happen all at once either.  I forget to do Bible studies as I heal.  It’s my flesh saying, “God answered my prayer, I’ll talk to Him next time I need something.”  Shame on me.  I’ll starve again and be left building back my foundation by forcing my flesh back down.  It takes diligence.  You literally have to force yourself into God’s presence because it goes against the flesh to die to self and let God take over everything.  But it becomes a habit, and it becomes easier as your faith matures.  For me dieing to self means making sure I don’t read certain things, don’t watch certain things, that I make sure not to cuss, that I forsake all that doesn’t glorify God, or that will keep me from glorifying God.  Instead of the sexy romance novels, I read Jane Austen and Janette Oke.  Jane Austen is classical romance, Oke writes Christian romance. I still get to see people fall in love, I’m just not reading…well you know.

In exchange for living a good life, a Godly life, I receive the fruits of the Spirit*.  I receive a relationship with the Lord God Almighty.  I have a perfect love, an shakeable joy.  Even in my darkest hours my spirit cries out, “Look at how I am blessed, surely the Lord must love me to make me struggle, for I find myself in His presence in this hour.”  This is what I get for trying to serve God and have Him at the center of my life.  A God centered life is a blessed life.  I’m becoming a Proverbs 31 woman*, and as the journey goes I see that it is a blessed life that is lived for God.

~Amanda~

*Stay tuned for more on these subjects….

Sorry for any gramatical errors you see, I’ll edit later, sleep now.

God at the Center of Your Relationships

So, I’ve given some of my views of marriage. I failed to mention in that post how God should be at the center of every marriage, and instead of going and fixing that when I edited the post earlier, I thought….YAY! New post!

Marriage isn’t the only thing that God should be at the center of.  God should have His Almighty hand in all aspects of your relationships (all of them) not to mention every other aspect of your life.  So when you start dating, when ever that may be, I personally don’t think you should date until you are completely ready to be married…but hey. So when you start dating someone do you think to yourself any of these things,

Will this relationship glorify God?

Would God want me in this relationship?

Will God be able to be the center of this relationship?

?

Lot’s of teenagers date…I know because I’ve been in relationships.  I’ve shared in a few posts, mainly the page about me, that I’ve been hurt in relationships, specifically 2…so please, allow me to share what I’ve learned since being 15 and dating.  Along with not being ready for marriage, I am not ready for a serious relationship, or seriously dating someone.  What I am ready for is forming friendships with members of the opposite sex and learning what I want in a mate.  What I can handle is hanging out, maybe in a date like setting, with guys and learning what dating is like.  And I’m nearly 18.  I’m just not ready. No shame in that.

I’ve tried having a serious relationships and they didn’t work because of several reasons; 1 my obvious immaturity when it comes to dating (not that I’m saying I’m immature per say, only that I can not mentally handle the stress of a relationship); 2 the males obvious immaturity when it came to dating me; 3 lack of communication skills on both parts, ( amazingly, being able to discuss something rationally is really important. That and being honest about your fears and what you believe in); 4 trying at play marriage…if you’re above the age of 25 you completely understand that phrase, what I mean by play marriage is that you act married…it’s as if another person owns you, with out the commitment of marriage.  You forget all else to please this person….big mistake.  and 5 God never was the center.

In Galatians 5, Paul list the fruits of the Spirit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…If you have God in your life and you’re living His way, these are the “fruits” of your life, same thing with a relationship with Him at the center. All of these things come with growing maturity of faith, so that explains why I’m not mature enough to handle a serious commitment to another human being…I’m just now learning what it is to have a serious commitment to God. I was so concerned, not even a month ago, about getting someone to fall in love with me that I completely ignored my spiritual self and my own needs when it came to God, the number one being that I have a relationship with him.  I’ve never had time to fall in love with God, and if I’m not in love with Him, how could a relationship work, part of me is missing. Also notice specifically the fruits of patience and kindness…I can say that I don’t always have those traits when I communicate a point…like I said, all parties involved in my love life, no communication skills.  And when you play at marriage, the whole ownage thing really has a lot to do with jealousy and control, why do you need those in your life when you know that the fruits of your relationship are love, joy, peace, and faithfulness.  Why do you have to worry about any type of relationship, not just a dating one, when God’s in the middle and you have these wonderful gifts inside of it?

OK so I’ll can do a fruits of the Spirit blog later.  The point is, when God’s at the center of your relationships you’ve built a good foundation for a strong experience.  If God isn’t the center, well you end up heart broken and alone, wondering why you can’t find a decent person to share your life with, like I was and sometimes am when it comes to dating.  With out God at the center you set yourself up to be jaded.

One more thing…if you are allowing things like sex, or “fooling around” in your relationship, and you’re not married, it’s not God centered.  God can not, and will not surround Himself with sin.  And that’s what all of that ‘stuff’ is, sin.  If you are not married sexual anything will hinder your relationship, I know, trust me.  Dating is about getting to know someone, it’s about seeing if you could have a marriage with them…and you have to allow God at the center of every step of the journey.

I believe, 100%, if a relationship is God centered from the start, and you marry the person of the God centered relationship, there’s more of a chance of the marriage being God centered.  You’ve had practice with that person, you have placed God first for the whole relationship, you’ve formed a habit.  It’ll make, I hope, marriage just a smidgen easier, because it will be God blessed.  And who doesn’t want that?

There seems like there is so much more I could say about dating in general, but this post would just be never ending…so I’ll continue later on…:)

I seem to be, yet again, ranting. I’ll write to y’alls later!

~Amanda~

Marriage….

Big word for a girl not grown, I know.  But I just read a yahoo, top news thing, what ever it’s called, all about marriage and when to get married.  Yahoo asks, “READERS: If single, at what age, if any, do you hope you’ll marry ?”

So I, thankfully, am not married yet, nor does it look like I will be anytime soon.  No boyfriend.  Not looking for anything serious in my life.  I hope that I’ll be married before thirty.  But, God knows what He’s doing, and I’ll get married when He gives me the okky doke.

I’m young, very, and in a lot of ways I’m still a child.  Not only am I not mature enough to handle marriage from an emotional standpoint, I’m not ready mentally either.  I don’t know myself, I struggle along with life trying to find me…so OK, I know WHO I am, and I know a lot about myself, but getting to know yourself is like getting to know someone else sometimes, and I don’t think I know enough about the being named Me to place myself in a marriage.  Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know, but I think if I were ready for marriage I wouldn’t be 17 and I’d be able to keep a stable and healthy relationship; which I’ve never had…so again, God knows what He’s doing, I can be patient.

Add to not knowing me, I’m only beginning to learn what I want in a mate.  Let’s face it, all those young unmarried folks reading this, marriage isn’t about* sex, it isn’t about being pure your first night, it isn’t like the play relationships we have in high school.  It’s about finding someone that you could spend the rest of your life with, someone you could wake up next to in the morning and stand thinking “Here’s another day with this guy” I’m either going to be giddy and excited about a life time with someone or I’m going to hate it.  I want to marry a friend, someone who I can talk to and someone who appreciates me, and that I can appreciate.  I want to know my needs will be met, not just physically (which seems to be a big deal…not being married, I dunno) but mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.  I was a creature made to be loved, I want to know with all of me that I am.  And then I want to know that I can fulfill the needs of the man I marry. I want to be THAT girl to him, worthy of his time an energy.  I want him to want to come home. For him to know that I love him.  I want a strong marriage, a partnership.

I think the problem my generation has with marriage is having a preconceived notion of what it means to be married.  Or maybe we don’t even think of the fact that we’re committing our lives to another person, what ever may come.  We’ve been conditioned to think that divorce is an answer so why worry, you can always ditch this marriage and try again later.  I’ve seen to much, in 17 years, of broken marriage to think it’s some perfect thing….that happiness comes with being married.  It’s hard, I’ve seen that.  Marriage is two people, each with their own emotional baggage and life experiences to influence their view a situation, coming together, and trusting (which is hard to do) the other with everything, come what may.

My view of the world comes from what I’ve seen,  I don’t want to be married until I’m ready.  I’d like to have a degree and my career in the Navy stable,  if God says go before that time He does, if I find myself 40 and just starting a marriage, oh well.  Divorce not being something I’m willing to do, I want to know what I’m doing.

well now I’m just ranting so I’ll stop.

~Amanda~

*Edit….OK so I understand that the physical side of marriage is important, that it’s a way to convey love for your spouse.  My main point in saying that marriage isn’t about sex is that the marriage in and of itself should never become about your physical relationship.  People have other needs to be met, and while physical intimacy is important, if that is what the foundation for your marriage is, for a while your other needs can be blocked, but 10 years down the road…what are you going to have?   A marriage where you don’t really and truly know your partner.  So my point wasn’t that sex isn’t important, just that marriage isn’t about sex.

Psalm 16

A miktam* of David

Keep me safe, O God,

For in you I take refuge.

I said to the LORD, “You are my lord;

apart from you I have no good thing.”

As for the saints who are in the land,

they are the glorious ones in whom is all my

delight.

The sorrows of those will increase

who run after other gods.

I will not pour out their libations of blood

or take up their names on my lips.

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;

you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant

places;

surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;

even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the LORD always before me.

Because he is at my right hand,

I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the grave,

nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

You have made known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

________________________________________________

*So my Bible has awesome little foot notes at the bottom of pages.  Some of it’s alternate translations, Hebrew/Greek words that are used, other times it’s *not used in earlier transcripts*.  So yeah it’s pretty awesome.

Anyway, is there anyone who might, possibly, maybe want to tell me what a miktam is?  I have a nice little foot note for the word, but no translation, making it useless.  It says, “Title: Probably a literary or musical term”  Like I said, no translation of the word….and I’m curious.

But that’s not the reason I put up the Psalm.  I’m looking up Bible verses on faith, and my search led me to this Psalm, but instead of just reading the verse I ended up reading, and highlighting most of, Psalm 16.  If I just wanted to know what a miktam was, well I’d just ask for that.   But yeah, pretty awesome Psalm right?  I didn’t put in the verses, but it’s 11 long so….yeah.

~Amanda~

Random Insight…

You know how you’ll go out side and it’s will be really bright, and at first it’s too much but if you stay in the light you get used to it; so much so that when you go back inside it’s darker, or in my case today–all the lights were off and it was just plain dark, and you have to readjust to the darkness.

Isn’t that how life is sometimes?  You see God’s magnificent light, He shows you more of Himself, you have an AHA! moment, and then you go back inside yourself, back to the dark and self-centered human that you are, and you have to readjust to the darkness.

It’s sad though, because even though at first we’re uncomfortable not being able to see, even though we want the clarity and beauty of the light, we don’t immediately run back outside for more of Him…we stay in the dark and get used to it, so that it hurts to step outside in the bright.

This is just a thought I had and thought I’d share with you.  It’s particularly sunny outside today, and dark inside.  Add that to church and a two minute devotional before coming inside, makes for some random insight…:)

~Amanda~

Patience is a Virtue…

        A girl sat on a stone bench in the middle of the forest.  God showed the girl what was on the other side of the trees, and she was pleased with what God had planned for her.  She got up from her bench, but God told her to sit back down, that the way for her to go wasn’t ready yet.  She needed to be patient.

      So gladly, for the Lord, she sat back on her bench and stared in the direction of her future. Later she noticed that a path had been marked, it was narrow and it was dark, but she didn’t mind…God was with her.  So she got up from her bench, but yet again God said, “No sit back down, not yet.”

      ”When God, when may I go.” she asked.

      “Soon.” and God went back to preparing her way.  The way He knew she would be safe.

      So the girl sat back down again and stared down the path.  And suddenly someone had appeared.  So she got up. But God said to her, “They are not ready, you are not ready, sit back down and wait.”

      So she sat back down, and folded her arms and looked the other way, away from God.  Soon she missed Him and turned back, and saw that on this dark and narrow path there were more people, scattered and in groups.  She stood again, and this time she hears nothing.  She wonders to herself…

      “God has not told me to move, but He did say soon, and it’s soon…right?”  But she had turned in her impatience and learned to ignore the whisper that she had been accustomed to, and she heard a different voice….

      “Go…go girl.” She knew it was not of the Lord, she knew it would be wrong to move, but she did so anyway.  And she started down the path that God had began.

      She walked and walked and walked, and soon she realized that her narrow path was gone, and that for a while she had been crying. In her heart it hurt. Something was missing.  So she sat on the ground and asked…

     “My God, my God, I have disobeyed you. Do you still love me?” And she just sat there with her pain and shame and loneliness.  And when she had had enough of the pain she asked God….”My God, my God, I have sinned.  Do you forgive me?”  And this time she heard something but thought it was only the wind in her little forest.  So she sat there still, and she cried a little more, and she felt her loneliness and shame close around her. So she stood and she screamed….

      “My God, My God, I have disobeyed you, I have sinned, I repent. Do you still love me; do you forgive me?  Come get me and take me to where you are, where I can be what you want once more.”  And then she saw a man coming toward her through the trees. 

      “My child, My child.”  The man said. “I am the Word, and I am here.” And he took her hand and lead her through the woods.  Along the way she noticed many that stood crying and she realized that she was on the path that God had made.  She looked to the man…

      “What must I do?” she asked.  For she knew she was the reason they cried.

      “You were not patient, you turned your back on the Father, and did not listen.” and she turned her head in shame for she knew what the man said was true. ”But He sent me, and I lived, and I died.  It is because of His love for you that I was risen.” And when the girl looked up she saw that the man was gone.

      So she said to the Lord. “My God, my God, if it is true, if we are reconciled, please tell me what I must do.” And there was a woman next to her crying.

     “Love her as I have loved you.” And she did. And when the Lord said to move she did that as well.  Then she was at the end of the forest and she looked back and saw what the Lord had done and she was filled with love and adoration and she stopped and sang praises to Him for what He had done for her. And when she was finished the Savior she had met was with her again.

       “You have pleased the Lord with your service, now come and let me show you what He has promised.” So the Savior took her hand and led her out of the Forest and there was a bench before her, with a man upon it.  “You are not done,” said the Savior, “But now you will have someone to walk with you.” So he led her to the man and the man stood and smiled into her eyes, for he knew her, and loved her. So together they sat on the bench, and when God said to move, they did….hand in hand they faced the jungle before them.

~Amanda~

When you feel lost…

When you feel lost and alone, as I do, something is missing. Or maybe it’s not missing, it’s right there in front of you, but you refuse to see it.  When you feel this way you must remember to step back and see what is making you blind.  For me it is many things. 

There are addictions, depression, there are so many more things I could list. 

I am blinding myself to even my own God, the real God, who sent his son to die for my sins. The God of everyone, who loves all people.  Who created me and has my name written on his hand.  Why am I doing this to myself? I feel so empty when I deny him.

When you feel as I do, and you know what is separating you, cast it off.  Oh I know I make it seem so simple.  But I know how very hard it is. 

Even if you do not see God, seek him.  And know you are not alone in your search.  He will walk with you even as you deny him.  He is in pursuit of you even now as you read this message.  And above all, he loves you with that love you want but have yet to find.

~Amanda~