Response to Poster….

       Now, I wouldn’t normally address comments, but one posted comment caught my attention.   In the “God at the Center of Your Relationships” blog very good questions were brought up, and I don’t feel that I can ignore them.

      So I will quote the most important parts, and let you know what I think.

“so is your sole purpose of dating “to bring glory and honor to god”
um what kind of experience is that?”

      Ultimately, in a relationship I want enjoyment and satisfaction.  I want to know that I’m loved and cherished.  What girl wouldn’t?  When I say that I want to bring glory and honor to God with my relationships I mean  that I want my conduct to reflect a Christian woman, a Proverbs 31.  My purpose in dating is to find a good husband who loves God and treats me well.  I don’t just date for the experience, and I don’t recommend being with someone for solely that reason.  If I’m looking for a husband he should know what I’m about.  I’m about honoring God with my behavior.  Dating a man who’s not a Christian, dating someone before I’m supposed to be in a relationship, having sex and fooling around before I’m married; none of those things glorify God, and I’ve learned that in the long run, these things cause more pain in the end then even one happy memory.

not sorry to say but how can you enjoy or experience something with that much pressure

      There really isn’t pressure from God to glorify Him.  When you get saved it’s kind of a natural part of you.  He says that “He will give us a new heart and put a new Spirit in us.  He will remove from us our hearts of stone and give us hearts of flesh.  And He will put His Spirit in us and move us to keep His Decrees and be careful to keep His laws.” Ezekiel 36:26-27, (paraphrased to make plural–look up for original context.)  I don’t want to have sex before I’m married, I want to be with a Christian man whom I’m evenly yoked with.  That’s the easy part.  I feel more pressure from outside to do the opposite.  Which is why I’m not dating right now.  I haven’t enjoyed fully my relationships with men because of their pressure.  And the pressure of my own fleshy desires.  (Realize, having God’s Spirit does not “kill” the flesh, only gives you another option and a way to see it through, it’s really hard to be a Christian sometimes.)

 to me thats seems selfish of god to expect that
then again
god seems really really selfish!!

       Doesn’t He though?  I’ve gone through feeling the same things.  It’s hard to remember that God created us for a purpose, and that was to serve and love Him.  And that may seem selfish, but think about the things you buy and make, you want them to serve you don’t you?  You may think that that’s different, but I want you to realize what God did to earn our love and service.  He sent His Son, who I believe was indeed part of Himself,  to die.  And the death is important, but what’s more is Jesus took on every single sin of the world, he became sin, he felt the shame of a world of sin, and then “descended into hell.”   Three days in hell, the worst type of torment.  And the very deepest depths of it too.  And he did it knowing that we would call him selfish. 

      Now think about it this way.  God’s love, mercy and salvation are all free.  They come from previenient grace, before you ask, and before you are cleansed of sin, He just gives it to you.  If you want to ask for salvation, feel one moments cleanlyness then forget about it, you’ve been saved.  WE, ask for more, we don’t have enough.  WE ASK GOD TO SERVE US even more than He requires us to serve Him. 

     Now the big part.  He promises us that if we serve Him, He will provide for us.  He will give us all our needs and some of our wants.  His plan for us is drawn with more wisdom than we could ever hope to attain.  Is it really selfish for Him to want our love, and for us to follow His laws, written so we didn’t get ourselves into trouble?  Especially when we get the better end of the deal?

also what do you say to those poeple who insist that god has called people to be single
why would god say its not good for man to be alone
but according to some people he has called people to just that
then again the sole puporse is to allegedly have more time to serve him
again thats selfish

      There are some people that God calls to live a single life.  I don’t know why, but He does.  And the people He has made to be single were made with more gut.  I don’t want to spend a whole life single most of the time.  (Sometimes it seems like a blessing)   I think that the majority of people are meant to be with somebody.  And I believe that God made a specific person for all of those people.  I also think that we as people mess up what God originally wanted. 

    And yes, again, it seems selfish for God to want some people set aside for single work, but those people, who have a real, honest call to be single, are happy.  They have something that a lot of people don’t.  Something that they are given that married people don’t get.  More time with God.  More solitary time to walk with God.  More time to serve God.  And the gift of most of the time not feeling lonely.  But those are the people that God has Made-To-Be-Single.  I feel that people that have someone else will find them, because God knows what we need.

one should date for the experience and the closeness and the company and the enjoyment of being with someone

    I agree that that is part of it.  But it’s not just an experience.  If dating has no purpose, then why are you really with that person.  You should be investigating marriage.  Because the closeness and company of that one person could cause a lot of pain if he or she is not your one.

you need to have balance in life

      We agree there, everything needs it’s balance.  God never said, “You shall only love me” only to love him the most.  We all have priorities.  He should be the priority.

life cant be 100% religion
one could go nuts if it is

      I hate religion really.  It makes blogs like this necessary.  I don’t feel that true Christianity is religion actually.  You are just trying to be a good person and live to a high standard.  Not perfection but being truly good.  Trying to have a good heart.  Not not making mistakes, knowing when you have and moving forward trying not to make the same ones.  And always having the love of someone beside you.  Even when you feel the most alone. 

    You are right.  Pure religion will probably drive you nuts.  Because it makes you feel like you have to perform for God’s love and affection.  It drowns the true Gospel and give you rules and regulations, telling you if you don’t live up to this you’ll go to hell, and that’s not true.  Christianity is trying, and when you fail having a repetitive heart.  Christianity is loving, even when the people you are called to love work that last nerve of yours.  That’s not religion.

god is great
but lets be honest
when adam was in the garden
he had fellowhship with adam
sure
however god saw that man was alone
he said this is not good
so he created eve
and the animals

   You are right.  Everything you said (well almost, the animals were created before Adam) is right.  God saw that Adam was still lonely and He created for him the PERFECT mate.  Then they both sinned by eating the apple and throwing into chaos everything that God had wanted.  Remember, God did a Holy do over.  He saw that humanity had become corrupt and He scrapped everything that wasn’t on that ark.  We ruined what God originally wanted.  No feelings of loneliness, only happiness.  No feelings of shame, only joy.  So, God does what He sees needs to be done.  I can’t fault Him if He makes someone to be single and that person changed the world in there singleness.

ok
my point is this
god can be a part of ones life
but come on he should not be ones life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

        WRONG!  That was always the point.  That our lives and relationships would be God centered.  That we would give God our full hearts and the best of our love, to do with what He sees fit.  And the people that do make effort to live His plan are the happiest.  My mother has proved that to me with her life.  She changed to what God wanted and is happier.  As a result everyone in our family is happier.  He’s my life, and I’ll admit, sometimes it’s hard.  Sometimes I leave God in the dust of my running away.  And my life falls apart when I do. 

      Try living a God centered life for one month.  Do Bible Studies.  Go to Church.  Watch what you say and think about.  When you do something ask yourself if it would honor God; and then don’t do it if the answer is no.  Do that for one month, then see if there are any differences in your life. 

~Amanda~

The God Centered Life…your relationship with the Almighty

Many Christians in America…not all, but many…have become people who go to God when something’s not going the way that they want, or when they want something, and that’s the only communication they have with the Almighty.  That’s a truly selfish population of Christians isn’t it.  We have God, who loves us, who wishes for a relationship with us, who knows that we are imperfect–yet gave us the gift of the Messiah, the ultimate sacrifice, to cleans us so that we COULD have a relationship with Him, and we only go to Him when we need something.

I believe humans have four basic groups of needs to fill, most of us look only at three, Physical, Mental/Emotional, and Social…and ignore the very important Spiritual. To have a balanced life and be truly happy we must take care of ourselves on all levels, and they intertwine at times, well, most times.  If you don’t take care of yourself physically by eating correctly, exercising, sleeping well, etc…hormones and other various chemicals won’t be released when they’re supposed to be, the way you see yourself may change, you may feel tired and worn out, which takes it’s tool on your mind and emotions and thus who you associate yourself with, which further effects your emotions and mental state of being.  That’s logical, correct?  It’s works all ways; if you associate yourself with negative people, you’re more likely to be negative; if you associate yourself with people who shirk their physical needs, you’re more likely to do the same…and all vice versa.  It’s how we work.  But what of the Spiritual?  What of the needs that come with our spiritual selves?

Reader, I do not know if you are a Christian, or if you even believe that there is a God.  But if you don’t believe in God, and take to heart, I mean the God of Abraham and of Issac…the God who gave the power to Moses to lead a people through a split sea, the God who gave His people a Messiah, if you don’t believe in this God, I must wonder, do feel as though there is a part of you missing, like you can’t find joy in anything, like you are constantly searching for…something?  And if you do believe in this God that I speak of, but only go to Him when you need something, or on a Sabbath day, or holidays…but ignore Him at all other times, do you feel a void, do you feel joyless, are you searching?

My mother said to me, “Amanda, so often people say that we are humans searching for our spirituality, but really we are Spiritual beings having a human experience.”  I can’t remember where she said she got that, some book she was reading probably, but think about that statement for a minute.  You are not searching for you’re spirituality, you are a Spiritual Being.  Of course we are trapped in these broken vessels called bodies, with all their fleshy limitations, and we have to daily defeat that human part of us.  But we are spiritual.  Think of why we are made….God was lonely. He wanted a companion, someone to talk to, someone to love Him, someone to love.  Sounds like us right?  God is not bound by humanness like we are, but He did create us in His image.  Inside of us, in our Spirit, in our Hearts, we long for the same things God wants, a relationship based on perfect love.  We were made to want that, and we are made to specifically want Him, the only ONE capable of Perfect love.  But we try to fill this need with the love of the imperfect.  Think of it this way, all of our need groups have a mouth (literally our physical side has a mouth).  We should feed our physical selves with healthy things, we should feed our minds with good things, we should feed our social selves healthy relationship.  Why, why are we starving our spiritual selves be trying to feed it something it can’t eat.  Just like God can’t be near sin, our spiritual selves can’t be fed anything but the truths God gives us, it can’t be satisfied with less that our Holy Father and His perfect love.  Our spiritual selves will except nothing but that. His love can make all other loves good enough, because you see them as blessing, and not imperfection.  But we have to allow Him to feed us.

We must center ourselves with God.  We must relent and allow ourselves to have that love, that relationship.  We must accept God.  This surrender of self to God, the only sacrifice God requires to be a part of our lives, this centering will fill that void, will feed the spirit.  Our hearts have a place shaped for God, nothing else will fill it.  And it’s at the center.  God has to be our life’s passion.

So we know that we have four need groups, the Spiritual side will change your mind on lots of things, control your emotions for the better, make you want friends who know what you know, and ultimately effect how you take care of your body.   We know that we need God to fill that spiritual side…we have to invite Him into our lives by surrendering ourselves to Him, self sacrifice.  But what does that mean?

With any other relationship that you start how do you take care of it?  You go spend quality time with someone, talk to someone, maybe simply sit with someone.  Same with God.  We may not be able to comprehend God’s ways, but He created our ways.  Think about it, if you love somebody you want to be around them don’t you.  He made you that way, because He wants to be with you.  He walked with Adam in the garden, talked with him in the garden.  He wanted a relationship with Adam, He desired it, just as a parent wants a relationship with their child.  And remember, we are created in His image, our spirits desire the same thing.  Adam wanted to walk with God, to talk to God (as did Eve).

We are meant to take time, our time, and sit and talk with God.  Read His word and listen to Him, just sit in His company and feel Him with you.  Do a daily devotion, journal about your feelings.  Write God letters.  Anything that you would do to keep a relationship with another human healthy, do with God.

But…yes there is a but. But it’s not just about spending time with God, it’s about changing your ways to please God.  I know a lot of females, possibly men, but I’m a girl so I understand girls, lots of females know what it means to alter their appearances and behavior to attract a man.  We are driven by this need to be loved and accepted by them, which makes sense, we were created for men, to be loved by them*.  And because of this drive, we change. But what if we were driven just as much to please God, to be loved and accepted by God.  We would naturally change to suit our need. Correct?

Changing means defeating the flesh in us.  And I don’t say this as a perfect person.  I allowed so much garbage into my mind that my emotions and body suffered, I starved my spirit.  I payed the consequences with spiritually.  I’m still paying the consequences.  It gets easier because I’m feeding my spirit more often.  The change doesn’t happen all at once either.  I forget to do Bible studies as I heal.  It’s my flesh saying, “God answered my prayer, I’ll talk to Him next time I need something.”  Shame on me.  I’ll starve again and be left building back my foundation by forcing my flesh back down.  It takes diligence.  You literally have to force yourself into God’s presence because it goes against the flesh to die to self and let God take over everything.  But it becomes a habit, and it becomes easier as your faith matures.  For me dieing to self means making sure I don’t read certain things, don’t watch certain things, that I make sure not to cuss, that I forsake all that doesn’t glorify God, or that will keep me from glorifying God.  Instead of the sexy romance novels, I read Jane Austen and Janette Oke.  Jane Austen is classical romance, Oke writes Christian romance. I still get to see people fall in love, I’m just not reading…well you know.

In exchange for living a good life, a Godly life, I receive the fruits of the Spirit*.  I receive a relationship with the Lord God Almighty.  I have a perfect love, an shakeable joy.  Even in my darkest hours my spirit cries out, “Look at how I am blessed, surely the Lord must love me to make me struggle, for I find myself in His presence in this hour.”  This is what I get for trying to serve God and have Him at the center of my life.  A God centered life is a blessed life.  I’m becoming a Proverbs 31 woman*, and as the journey goes I see that it is a blessed life that is lived for God.

~Amanda~

*Stay tuned for more on these subjects….

Sorry for any gramatical errors you see, I’ll edit later, sleep now.

God at the Center of Your Relationships

So, I’ve given some of my views of marriage. I failed to mention in that post how God should be at the center of every marriage, and instead of going and fixing that when I edited the post earlier, I thought….YAY! New post!

Marriage isn’t the only thing that God should be at the center of.  God should have His Almighty hand in all aspects of your relationships (all of them) not to mention every other aspect of your life.  So when you start dating, when ever that may be, I personally don’t think you should date until you are completely ready to be married…but hey. So when you start dating someone do you think to yourself any of these things,

Will this relationship glorify God?

Would God want me in this relationship?

Will God be able to be the center of this relationship?

?

Lot’s of teenagers date…I know because I’ve been in relationships.  I’ve shared in a few posts, mainly the page about me, that I’ve been hurt in relationships, specifically 2…so please, allow me to share what I’ve learned since being 15 and dating.  Along with not being ready for marriage, I am not ready for a serious relationship, or seriously dating someone.  What I am ready for is forming friendships with members of the opposite sex and learning what I want in a mate.  What I can handle is hanging out, maybe in a date like setting, with guys and learning what dating is like.  And I’m nearly 18.  I’m just not ready. No shame in that.

I’ve tried having a serious relationships and they didn’t work because of several reasons; 1 my obvious immaturity when it comes to dating (not that I’m saying I’m immature per say, only that I can not mentally handle the stress of a relationship); 2 the males obvious immaturity when it came to dating me; 3 lack of communication skills on both parts, ( amazingly, being able to discuss something rationally is really important. That and being honest about your fears and what you believe in); 4 trying at play marriage…if you’re above the age of 25 you completely understand that phrase, what I mean by play marriage is that you act married…it’s as if another person owns you, with out the commitment of marriage.  You forget all else to please this person….big mistake.  and 5 God never was the center.

In Galatians 5, Paul list the fruits of the Spirit…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…If you have God in your life and you’re living His way, these are the “fruits” of your life, same thing with a relationship with Him at the center. All of these things come with growing maturity of faith, so that explains why I’m not mature enough to handle a serious commitment to another human being…I’m just now learning what it is to have a serious commitment to God. I was so concerned, not even a month ago, about getting someone to fall in love with me that I completely ignored my spiritual self and my own needs when it came to God, the number one being that I have a relationship with him.  I’ve never had time to fall in love with God, and if I’m not in love with Him, how could a relationship work, part of me is missing. Also notice specifically the fruits of patience and kindness…I can say that I don’t always have those traits when I communicate a point…like I said, all parties involved in my love life, no communication skills.  And when you play at marriage, the whole ownage thing really has a lot to do with jealousy and control, why do you need those in your life when you know that the fruits of your relationship are love, joy, peace, and faithfulness.  Why do you have to worry about any type of relationship, not just a dating one, when God’s in the middle and you have these wonderful gifts inside of it?

OK so I’ll can do a fruits of the Spirit blog later.  The point is, when God’s at the center of your relationships you’ve built a good foundation for a strong experience.  If God isn’t the center, well you end up heart broken and alone, wondering why you can’t find a decent person to share your life with, like I was and sometimes am when it comes to dating.  With out God at the center you set yourself up to be jaded.

One more thing…if you are allowing things like sex, or “fooling around” in your relationship, and you’re not married, it’s not God centered.  God can not, and will not surround Himself with sin.  And that’s what all of that ‘stuff’ is, sin.  If you are not married sexual anything will hinder your relationship, I know, trust me.  Dating is about getting to know someone, it’s about seeing if you could have a marriage with them…and you have to allow God at the center of every step of the journey.

I believe, 100%, if a relationship is God centered from the start, and you marry the person of the God centered relationship, there’s more of a chance of the marriage being God centered.  You’ve had practice with that person, you have placed God first for the whole relationship, you’ve formed a habit.  It’ll make, I hope, marriage just a smidgen easier, because it will be God blessed.  And who doesn’t want that?

There seems like there is so much more I could say about dating in general, but this post would just be never ending…so I’ll continue later on…:)

I seem to be, yet again, ranting. I’ll write to y’alls later!

~Amanda~

HI, I’d like a small McJesus with a small side order of McGod please…

Yeah it sounds stupid, right? But think about it, whether you are a Christian, or you know Christians, this seems to be true. We live in a nation that revolves around doing everything Bigger, Better, and FASTER. Most of the time this means our lives become so caotic that something has to take the back seat. Now, somewhere in our lives we want to put Jesus, but we want him just thrown in there, we want it more convenient for us.  So we get the McJesus.

Now, I’m sure you know that we are all guilty of the whole fast food thing. Personally, I love fast food. And we all know that when we go to McDonald’s to get our fix, we want the large everything special. But this doesn’t seem to be the case with the McJesus. Somehow our faith has become one where not only does Jesus take the back seat, he’s squeezed in there tight. We want the one hour Sunday Jesus; the look at me I’m such a good Christian, God/Jesus. But when it comes down to it, most of us don’t want God/Jesus in our lives Mondays, nor Tuesdays, and forget about Wednesdays, and my goodness Thursdays, what about them Fridays, and the big one, party night, Saturdays, you can forget it. We choose to ignore the “follow me,” that Jesus says to his disciples.

“Come, follow me…” Matthew 4:19  “Follow me…” Matthew 9:9 “Come, follow me…” Mark 1:17 ”Follow me…” It’s there why ignore it?

And don’t forget that big law, the biggest one in all the scriptures, the numero uno of the laws…”Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul with and all your mind.” Matthew 22:37

How can we show God we love him if we push his gift to us out of the way. How can we tell people “oh you have to go to Church and do this and that…” If we ourselves don’t do it?

We as a Christian nation need to stop making God and Jesus fit our plans and schedules. We need to stop feeding our souls with the junk food faith that we have. We need to feed ourselves that Good, Big, Filling meal of Faith that God has to offer.

~Amanda~ 

When you feel lost…

When you feel lost and alone, as I do, something is missing. Or maybe it’s not missing, it’s right there in front of you, but you refuse to see it.  When you feel this way you must remember to step back and see what is making you blind.  For me it is many things. 

There are addictions, depression, there are so many more things I could list. 

I am blinding myself to even my own God, the real God, who sent his son to die for my sins. The God of everyone, who loves all people.  Who created me and has my name written on his hand.  Why am I doing this to myself? I feel so empty when I deny him.

When you feel as I do, and you know what is separating you, cast it off.  Oh I know I make it seem so simple.  But I know how very hard it is. 

Even if you do not see God, seek him.  And know you are not alone in your search.  He will walk with you even as you deny him.  He is in pursuit of you even now as you read this message.  And above all, he loves you with that love you want but have yet to find.

~Amanda~