Marriage….

Big word for a girl not grown, I know.  But I just read a yahoo, top news thing, what ever it’s called, all about marriage and when to get married.  Yahoo asks, “READERS: If single, at what age, if any, do you hope you’ll marry ?”

So I, thankfully, am not married yet, nor does it look like I will be anytime soon.  No boyfriend.  Not looking for anything serious in my life.  I hope that I’ll be married before thirty.  But, God knows what He’s doing, and I’ll get married when He gives me the okky doke.

I’m young, very, and in a lot of ways I’m still a child.  Not only am I not mature enough to handle marriage from an emotional standpoint, I’m not ready mentally either.  I don’t know myself, I struggle along with life trying to find me…so OK, I know WHO I am, and I know a lot about myself, but getting to know yourself is like getting to know someone else sometimes, and I don’t think I know enough about the being named Me to place myself in a marriage.  Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know, but I think if I were ready for marriage I wouldn’t be 17 and I’d be able to keep a stable and healthy relationship; which I’ve never had…so again, God knows what He’s doing, I can be patient.

Add to not knowing me, I’m only beginning to learn what I want in a mate.  Let’s face it, all those young unmarried folks reading this, marriage isn’t about* sex, it isn’t about being pure your first night, it isn’t like the play relationships we have in high school.  It’s about finding someone that you could spend the rest of your life with, someone you could wake up next to in the morning and stand thinking “Here’s another day with this guy” I’m either going to be giddy and excited about a life time with someone or I’m going to hate it.  I want to marry a friend, someone who I can talk to and someone who appreciates me, and that I can appreciate.  I want to know my needs will be met, not just physically (which seems to be a big deal…not being married, I dunno) but mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.  I was a creature made to be loved, I want to know with all of me that I am.  And then I want to know that I can fulfill the needs of the man I marry. I want to be THAT girl to him, worthy of his time an energy.  I want him to want to come home. For him to know that I love him.  I want a strong marriage, a partnership.

I think the problem my generation has with marriage is having a preconceived notion of what it means to be married.  Or maybe we don’t even think of the fact that we’re committing our lives to another person, what ever may come.  We’ve been conditioned to think that divorce is an answer so why worry, you can always ditch this marriage and try again later.  I’ve seen to much, in 17 years, of broken marriage to think it’s some perfect thing….that happiness comes with being married.  It’s hard, I’ve seen that.  Marriage is two people, each with their own emotional baggage and life experiences to influence their view a situation, coming together, and trusting (which is hard to do) the other with everything, come what may.

My view of the world comes from what I’ve seen,  I don’t want to be married until I’m ready.  I’d like to have a degree and my career in the Navy stable,  if God says go before that time He does, if I find myself 40 and just starting a marriage, oh well.  Divorce not being something I’m willing to do, I want to know what I’m doing.

well now I’m just ranting so I’ll stop.

~Amanda~

*Edit….OK so I understand that the physical side of marriage is important, that it’s a way to convey love for your spouse.  My main point in saying that marriage isn’t about sex is that the marriage in and of itself should never become about your physical relationship.  People have other needs to be met, and while physical intimacy is important, if that is what the foundation for your marriage is, for a while your other needs can be blocked, but 10 years down the road…what are you going to have?   A marriage where you don’t really and truly know your partner.  So my point wasn’t that sex isn’t important, just that marriage isn’t about sex.

Christian–r u?

      Well, like the title implies, I am, in-fact, Christian.  Actually I call myself a Believer/Follower of Christ.  Let me tell you why.  Not many people truly comprehend what a Christian is.  They think that anyone that believes in Christ, and anyone who believes in God is a Christian, which really isn’t true. So…what is a Christian? A Christian does believe in one God that goes by many names; Elohim, Hashem, Adonai–just to name a few. 

        

       Well, with or without those names you may be wondering “Who is this God?” Well, both Jews and Christians believe in the same all powerful God.  All powerful meaning just what it implies, He has all power. Now, many people will tell you that God can do anything, but in reality, there are things that he can’t do.  He cannot lie, which makes since, if he’s all powerful, anything he says becomes true.  And, He cannot effect free will, he promised that he wouldn’t, and he doesn’t lie remember? (this accounts for all the evil in the world, but that’s another post) So, one all powerful God. We also believe that he created the world and universe and that he loves everyone on a personal level. All powerful, Creating, Loving, Personal God. 

    

       Christians, all of them, Believe in Jesus the Christ (only Messianic Jews believe in the Messiah). So who is He.  He was born to the Virgin Mary, which means he was born with out original sin–after Adam and Eve ate the “apple,” everyone born after was born with original sin that separates us from God.  And the big point, he is Gods only Begotten Son, John 3:16.  Back when there was no Jesus, the only people that believed in God were Jews, and God promised them he would give them a Messiah–Jesus.  So, Jesus is the Savior that the Jews were promised. Of course you may have heard that a lot of the Jews actually hated Jesus and wanted him crucified. Anyway, I digress, Jesus came for the Jews originally, and because of a Samaritan woman, gentiles were also saved, John 4.  So Christians believe in the same God as the Jews, and we believe in the Messiah, that God sent to cleans of us sin, so that we could be with him in Heaven.  If you believe that, and ask for repentance from sins then you receive salvation, and with that comes life after death in eternal paradise with God. Christians also Believe in the Holy Spirit.  The guider.  He lives in the hearts of the faithful, and leads them in their walk. Read the book of Acts in the Bible and you get a lot of information about the Holy Spirit, and I’d recommend that. (BTW just a disclaimer–Jewish people also believe in the Spirit)

        Then there is the Trinity, which says that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are three persons in One God (I’ll explain this in a later post).

        So you may be asking, “If you believe all of these things, then aren’t you a Christian?”  Personally, I believe the answer to that is No. Belief in these things makes you a Believer/Follower of Christ (if you believe in Christ you believe in God, I can’t remember the scripture, but that’s somewhere in the New Testament). You are a Christian if you live the Christian lifestyle.

      So many people will say, “I am a Christian,” and then go and live an unchristian lifestyle. Christans are not called to judge people (tell people they are going to Hell), they are called to love people.  Now this doesn’t necessarily mean they associate themselves with everyone, but it does mean that they will try to show you God, and they will try to be nice and accepting of you.  I can’t promise that they’ll always get it right, I mean we all are human. But Christians strive to be Christ-like, and Christ was perfect.  He never sinned. 

       So why do I call myself a Believer/Follower of Christ and not a Christian? It’s not because I don’t strive to be Christ-like (which is what Christian means) it is because I believe that others should look at me and determine for themselves if I am a Christian by the way I act. 

~Amanda~

P.S. These are the things I was taught, and the things I’ve discovered on my own. Minus the scripture and facts, and anything that can be found in the scriptures, These are my opinions. Just thought you should know.